21 Factors That Make You My Best Freind
by TheOtakuPrincess
Summary: What is Kyoya always writing in his black book anyways? Tamaki takes a look but curiosity could very well kill the King. One-shot series. Chapter 4: Tamaki and Kyoya have been friends for a while now, but will competition tear them apart? (You don't have to read the chapters in order)
1. 21 Factors

It was another successful day at the host club. Music room #3 was empty except for Tamaki who was waiting for a certain glasses wearing best friend who was typing out the final touches of the finances for the day. Kyoya closed the lid of his pineapple laptop and sighed, "You haven't seen my Physics notes have you?" he asked Tamaki his glasses flashing.

"Haha, about that … I was skimming through last night's homework and I probably left it in my desk somewhere…"

"I'll go get you Moron. Don't touch anything while I'm gone." Kyoya said with a glare as he left the club room.

Tamaki sat down waiting for Kyoya while twiddling his fingers when he noticed that Kyoya left his Black note book beside his laptop. _Touch it…read it …you MUST! _The strange voice that sounded an awful like those two shady twins in Tamaki's head said. "No, Mommy said don't touch anything." Tamaki said to himself. _But he didn't say anything about his own stuff. _The voice said again. "True, and I always touch his stuff without asking... but what if he gets mad?" _Just read the stupid notebook it's not like your robbing a bank! _"Okay!" Tamaki happily said to himself as he picked up Kyoya's black notebook. He flipped through it and stopped on a random page. At the top of the page the title written in black ink were the words: 20 factors that make you my best friend.

Tamaki smiled at the title and began to read the rest of the passage.

_**20 factors that make you my best friend: **_

_We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall I will be there to pick you up. After I finish laughing._

_Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I'd rather be an idiot than lose you. _

_You've taken all my fears and reduced them to one: Losing you._

_When I say I won't tell anybody, my best friend doesn't count._

_Your best friend is one person you can't stay mad at because you always have important stuff to tell them, even if it's really dumb._

_Best friends. They know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public._

_A best friend scolds like a dad, cares like a mom, teases like a sister, hangs out like a brother and loves you more than a lover. _

_When my best friend doesn't come to school: 5% - "I hope he's okay!" 95% - "THAT IDIOT, HOW DARE HE LEAVE ME ALONE!"_

_A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a lover stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with bendy straws._

_Friends ask you why you're crying … best friends already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry. _

_Dear best friend. You're an idiot. You're obnoxious. You drive me crazy. You're not perfect. But, that's okay because I'm not perfect either. We laugh at the randomest things. You know my ugliest side. Even when we fight sometimes we never truly hate each other. You don't swear you'll never forgive me because you always end up forgiving me anyway. When I'm upset you're always there to make sure I'm okay. Thanks for being there. P.S I love you. (In a brotherly fluff way I have no romantic feelings for you what so ever!)_

_You know you have a best friend when he: eats the last pizza slice and laughs in your face. Enters you're house uninvited and shouts, "I'm home" (Or in my case "Where's my Kotatsu?"). Helps himself and that's the reason you have no food. Would be sitting next to you in jail saying "THAT WAS AWESOME!" Loses your stuff and says, "My bad lol". Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life. _

_Best friends are the kind of people that laugh at a joke 3 times: Once when it's told, a 2__nd__ time when someone explains it to us and five minutes later, when we actually get it._

_A good friend knows all you best stories. A best friend has lived them with you. _

_The awkward moment when everyone stares at you and your best friend because you're laughing about a conversation that only you and your best friend understand._

_Yes you're my best friend. But sometimes I seriously want to kick you in the face. _

_The thing about being best friends: It's a full time job but it pays well. _

_I'm your best friend that's why I always listen to your pointless dramas over and over again. _

_A best friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future and accepts you just the way you are. _

_I never let my best friend do stupid things alone. _

Tamaki grinned to himself after reading the list. "Oh Kyoya, I love you too!" He laughed to himself.

"Didn't I tell you not to touch anything?" Kyoya asked as he walked into the room unamused.

"Wow you found the binder, that was fast," Tamaki said changing the subject as always.

Kyoya sighed as Tamaki handed the notebook to him.

"You know what? I really feel like having a one of those fancy milkshakes right about now," Tamaki said skipping towards the exit.

Kyoya raised an eyebrow at Tamaki, "Don't we have an essay due soon?"

"You're right, besides I have a few phone calls to make and some interesting information on hand…"

"Fine milkshakes it is," Kyoya said in defeat.

"Yay!"

"But then it's straight to my house, we're finishing the essay TONIGHT."

"Yes Mommy," Tamaki said pouting. Then in one swift movement he was out the door chanting 'Milkshakes! Milkshakes!'

Kyoya sighed and opened his black notebook to the page that Tamaki was reading. He Crossed out the title and wrote underneath it:

_**21 factors that make you my best friend: **_

Then at the bottom of the page he added one more line to the list:

_Your best friend is the guy who has the most blackmail material against you but only uses it to get a milkshake ;)  
_

_P.S: Every time you review Kyoya makes another 100,000,000 yen and Tamaki gets another Milkshake! :P_


	2. Milkshakes

_A/N: Thank you to all the lovely reviewers and readers! I never thought this story would get so popular so quickly! And yes, Tamaki did get his milkshakes... _

The king gently pressed the glass to his lips and let the sensation seep through. He could feel it burn his throat and warm his insides. Soft footsteps echoed through the halls as a dark figure approached the door. As he entered his eyes narrowed, the silent room was dimly lilted by a single candle. "You have to stop this Tamaki," the dark figure said as he approached the king, "You need to control yourself."

The king slammed the glass on the table, "Don't talk about what you don't know Kyoya!" The king huffed, his words were beginning to slur.

"You're addicted! You can't last an hour without chugging a cup down!"

"I'm fine Kyoya!"

"No you're not! Just look at you you're a mess! This stuffs no good for you! You'll fall sick!" Kyoya knew he was pushing his limits but it had to be done.

"I said I'm FINE!" Tamaki said stand up only to topple over. Kyoya rushed to catch him; it was all over now...

Tamaki woke to the blinding light; he blinked rapidly trying to adjust his eyes. "Where am I?" He said to himself as he slowly got up.

"You're in heaven," a voice replied.

"Really?"

"No, you're in my bedroom stupid, you passed out," Kyoya said.

"Aww, Kyoya do you have to be so loud my head hurts!"

"Yes, that's because you drank too much,"

"I can't help it, it's just so delicious and satisfying!"

"You can't be serious! They're just milkshakes!"

"Just milkshakes? No! There're more than that, they're the essence of my existence!"

"You had your first milkshake two weeks ago! You were born 16 years ago!"

"Kyoya, shhhhh my head!" Tamaki said rubbing his head.

Kyoya leaned over Tamaki his lips just centimeters from his ear. Tamaki could feel his warm breath on his skin.

"MORON!" He screamed.

"Ouch! My ear! Kyoyaaaaaaaaaa!" Tamaki whined as Kyoya left the room a ghost of a smile on his face.

_A/N: Yea sorry it's short but exams are coming up so this was all I got done but never fear I promise the next chapter will be longer and much more eventful...(Evil gleam in my eye). Anyway, Please Review, follow and Fave! O BTW I forgot the disclaimer I do not own Ouran or the characters only the ploys that I put them in!_

**_Next time: Tamaki has a secret and Kyoya is dying to find out what it is!_**


	3. Secrets

_A/N: Thank you to all my lovely readers and reviewers! As promised this chapter is longer than the last (More than Double). Anyway I got the idea for this chapter while flipping through the channels..._

Tamaki sat in the empty music room, his exotic laughter filling the room, "Heeheee hahaha!"

"Tamaki?" Kyoya said softly as he entered the room.

"Oh hey Kyoya I thought you went home!" the host king said quickly as he hid something behind his back.

"Kyoya's eyes narrowed. Tamaki always did this; he would pick up something from the street, bring to the club then beg to keep it. He would always win with those annoying puppy dog eyes. But every single time no matter what is was Tamaki's little findings would turn everything into disarray. And then of course, it would be up to Kyoya to clean the mess. Just last week…

_Flashback:_

_"Come on, come on, close already!" Tamaki said slamming the door to the store room shut._

_"Tamaki whatever are you up to now?" Kyoya asked as he walked into the room black notebook in hand. _

_"Nothing! Nothing at all!" He said as his voice pitched. Just then there was a loud CRASH that came from the store room, "Hahaha that was just my stomach growling!" _

_Now furious Kyoya stomped to the door pushing Tamaki roughly to the side as he whipped opened the door. _

_"Kyoya wait-"_

_Then in one quick blur a huge wave of water came crashing down over the two, water filling the club room ankle high. _

_"Tamaki what-"_

_Kyoya was cut off by a big black shadow that hovered over hi m. _

_"Kyoyaaaaaaa!" Tamaki said as he pushed his best friend over both of them landing on the couch._

_Kyoya turned his eyes went wide with horror at the scene before him._

_"Oh Billy, Are you alright?" Tamaki said rushing over to his 'little' friend._

_Little wasn't the right word for it._

_"TAMAKI! YOU BROUGHT A WHALE!"_

_"It's a baby whale!"_

_Kyoya just stood there completely dumbfounded_

_End of Flashback _

Kyoya sighed at memory, "What are you hiding?" he said slowly.

"Nothing! It's nothing at all!" Tamaki said as he tried to make his way to the exit.

"Oh really? So you won't let me have a quick look?" he asked taking dark heavy steps towards the frightened blond.

"Noooo!" Tamaki screamed, trying to escape.

"There's nowhere to run Tamaki, you're cornered," Kyoya said darkly his glasses flashing, "Now show me what you hiding **_now." _**

Without a choice, Tamaki pulled out a small brown box from behind him, "See it's just a box," he said quietly.

Kyoya knew better, "What's in the box?" he said reaching to open it.

The king turned swiftly around hugging the box, "You can't see it's a secret."

"Open it, "the shadow king commanded.

"No it's my secret and no one can know about it!" Tamaki said resisting.

"You're being-"

"Everyone has their secrets Kyoya, you should know that best of all," Tamaki said smugly as he dashed out of the room.

Kyoya frowned.

"See you tomorrow Tamaki!" a pretty little lady said walking out of the club room. She was the last costumer today but requested to be here after club hours today, for a fee of course. Tamaki gave a majestic wave and then reached under the couch to pull out his secret box.

He smiled to himself, "Oh Kyoya if only you could see what was in this box, it would change your life!"

"Then why won't you let me see it?" Kyoya asked annoyed.

"No, it's for me to know and you to never find out!"

Kyoya raised an eyebrow

"Kyoya you might be an open book but I'm a little more complicated than that!"

"Yes, and I'm the King of Atlantis,"

"Really?"

"No," Kyoya said flatly. "Honestly Tamaki what is in that box?"

"This box holds the most amazing, mysterious, most powerful secret in all of Ouran Academy and it is my sole duty to protect it!" Tamaki said dramatically as he left the club room to head home.

Kyoya really wanted to know what was in that box.

Kyoya sat up in bed. It was almost midnight and he still couldn't get to sleep. Unfortunately the lack of sleep was getting to him and a thousand crazy thoughts ran through his head. "What could be in that box that Tamaki doesn't want me see?" he asked himself balling his hands in frustration.

"It's probably some confidential school papers…or maybe Tamaki's some homicidal maniac hiding the evidence, or worse, maybe it's an embarrassing snapshot of me from Tamaki's Christmas party!"

Kyoya started to panic, he was the shadow king! He was the one who was supposed to know _everything_ not that idiot! Oh how Kyoya loathed being ignorant.

"This is ridiculous!" he said throwing off his sheets, "I'm going to find out what's in that box! And I won't rest until I do!"

"Ah, master Kyoya what are you doing here at this time?" Shima, Tamaki's head maid asked, "I'm sorry to inform you but Tamaki is sleep right now,"

Kyoya pushed up his glasses, "Not a problem, I just have to check his room for something, it won't take long," he flashed one of his fake smiles.

"Alright then, I'll be heading out, you two boys take care," she said leaving.

Kyoya quickly closed the door and ran upstairs to Tamaki's grand chambré. He opened the door quietly and tip toed to the box that sat on Tamaki's bedside table. As he was about to grab it Tamaki swiped it in one hand and hugged it.

"Ah, Ma boîte merveilleux … I love you…" he mumbled in his sleep.

Kyoya slowly pulled one hand off the box and then finger by finger he gently pulled the box out of Tamaki's grasp.

"Now I shall see that greatest secret of all!" Kyoya said as he tripped over a book and knocked over a vase that came crashing to the floor. Kyoya's heart stopped, he turned around only to that Tamaki was still asleep.

"Gee, Tamaki sure is a heavy sleeper," Kyoya whispered to himself.

"What? Who's there?" Tamaki said now awake, "You stop right there!"

"Wait-"

"Handover the box and no one get hurt!" Tamaki said pumping his pillow.

"Wait Tamaki it's me, Kyoya!"

Tamaki hesitated for a moment, "Nice try, but Kyoya is my best friend, he would never steal from me!"

"No really see," Kyoya said pulling out a chain match the one Tamaki was wearing.

"Our best friend chain, it really is you…" And then Tamaki's face flashed with anger, "That's the last straw Kyoya! Our friendship is over!"

Kyoya didn't know what to say, "Really?"

"Nah, you can take a look inside if you want!" he said happily as he gave the box to Kyoya.

"Finally!" Kyoya said as he threw off the top of the box. Kyoya said as his face dropped. "It's just a string…"

"Yeah, a secret string isn't it great!"

"Yeah…" Kyoya said as he turned to head home.

"I should've known it was something stupid like a string!" Kyoya said getting into bed, "What a waste of my time! Not to worry I'll get Tamaki back in the morning…" he said to himself as he fell into a peaceful sleep.

Tamaki was laughing to himself, "Too bad Kyoya didn't pull the secret string to open the secret compartment to secretly reveal… an embarrassing snapshot of Kyoya at my Christmas party!"

Tamaki took another look at the photo, "HAHAHAHAHAHA! Merry Christmas Kyoya!"

_A/N: So what do you think? Why don't you leave a review and tell me? I do not own Ouran high school host club or Spongebob! By the way does anyone like the 'Next time' monologue or should I get rid of it?_

_Next time: Tamaki and Kyoya have been friends for a while now, but will competition tear them apart?_


	4. Competition

_A/N: OMG! I can't believe it's been almost a full month since I updated! I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting! But I know you'll forgive me because this chapter is almost 2000 words! I do not own Ouran high school host club or Sonny with a chance! Enjoy!_

"I believe it's time for the club meeting," Kyoya said walking into the club room. The hosts were consumed into the daily gossip forum in the newspaper.

"You're not even listening to me," Kyoya grumbled. Everyone just ignored him, "You're not even listening to me when I'm telling you: 'You're not even listening to me!'" Kyoya said frustrated. They continued to ignore him.

"Ooo, whose cooler Kouichi or his new car," Kaoru read aloud.

"Let me see that!" Kyoya said grabbing the paper from the twins, "What junk, I can't believe you read this sad excuse for a newspaper."

"Sempai you know you're the only one who doesn't read it right?" the twins said flatly.

"Yes well I don't like wasting my time," He said glasses flashing, "Besides; I get all the information I need from _reliable _sources."

"Well do your sources tell you that the newspaper club is the most popular club at Ouran Academy?"

"It's true they've been in that position for three years now," Huni said swallowing a piece of cake whole, "Isn't that right Takashi?"

Mori nodded silently.

"Not for long," Kyoya said smirking to himself. He took another glance at the paper, "Wait there's a photo of me," Kyoya and Tamaki said in sync.

"And we're wearing the same shirt," Kyoya said slowly.

"Let's see who wore it better!" Tamaki said sarcastically.

Kyoya grabbed the paper out of Tamaki's hands, "It's not important," he said quickly.

"Oh mon ami, don't take what they say personally, they're mean to everyone," Tamaki said as he took the paper back and began reading aloud, "Today's forecast, Ootori was shining while Souh was partly clunky with a 70% chance of shame…?"

Tamaki's eyes went wide and his voice became pitched, "Ohh…interesting…"

"Okay, what about today's theme?" Kyoya said quickly trying to change the subject.

Tamaki's hands balled into a fist, "He did _not _just say _you_ wore it better… AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he said half screaming half crying as he ran out of the club room.

"I think he took it pretty well," Kyoya said as the other hosts agreed with him.

Tamaki was moping in the corner of the club's dressing room while Kyoya skimmed through the costumes.

"You know what I don't get though, why would you be wearing the same shirt as me," Tamaki mumbled from his corner.

"You're the one who forced me to wear it remember? 'Ooo, Kyoya let's wear matching shirts like normal best friend do!'" Kyoya said not looking at him. Tamaki just frowned at him with his puppy dog eyes.

"Okay, we'll go through everything and make sure we never match outfits again," Kyoya suggested hoping Tamaki would agree.

"Fine," Tamaki said slowly coming out of his corner.

"So do you have anything like this?" Kyoya said pulling out a shirt.

"Kyoya, that's the ugliest shirt ever!"

"Fuyumi bought it for me," Kyoya said shrugging, "What are you going to wear to the spring gala?"

"Shame and a Valentino two piece suit, but mostly shame,"

"Tamaki, come on they've had their fun, they'll never put us against each other again, it's over,"

"This just in Kyoya's hair is fab and Tamaki's hair is drab," Hikaru said walking into the dressing room with another newspaper. Tamaki grab the paper out of his hands.

"How many times a day do they publish that thing?" Kyoya asked annoyed.

"How can they compare these two photos, see yours is all touch up and perfect!"

"Actually, that's the photo from my student ID, didn't come out nice?"

"Waaahhhhh," Tamaki started to cry fountains, "My clothes are ugly, my hair is ugly, my entire life is ugly!" Kyoya coved his ears.

"I need a tissue!" Tamaki cried.

Kyoya looked around, "Here, just use my shirt,"

"Even the things I blow my nose in are ugly!"

Kyoya glared sardonically.

Kyoya looked at his watch it was almost time for the host club to open for business. He sighed to himself as he made his way to the dressing room. Kyoya put his ear to the door; he could hear soft sobs and sad violin music. This was getting ridiculous. The Shadow king opened the door and turned on the light, "Tamaki are you ready for the customers-" Kyoya's eyes went wide with shock as Tamaki turned around. "YOU SHAVED YOUR HEAD?"

"Actually it's a bald cap but symbolically yes, I did shave my head," Tamaki said depressed.

"The newspaper club has driven you to wearing a bald cap?"

"If I don't have the best hair I may as well have no hair at all!" Tamaki said dramatically as he flopped down onto a plushy chair.

"Cut it out Hikaru," Kyoya said pushing a curtain aside to reveal Hikaru playing a toy violin. "This is absurd! I can't believe you're doing this to yourself," Kyoya said hitting Tamaki's bald head

"Beauty is all I have; you have brains and evilness so you don't need style!" Tamaki yelled curling into a little ball on the chair.

"Wow, this is worse than I thought, I'll be back in a little while," Kyoya said softly.

"Yeah, just go! Turn off the lights and leave me alone with my bald, bald head!"

Evil violin music began to play, and Kyoya pulled the curtain back once more, "Hikaru I told you to cut it out," Kyoya said only to find Hikaru on his phone.

"That wasn't me, and I'm Kaoru," The red head said pulling back the curtain.

Kyoya walked into the newspaper club room. It was big, bright and full of life. _Not for long_ Kyoya thought to himself as he approached the big oak desk where the president sat, who was typing away at his computer, "Dear readers, I know you want then truth and I will deliver it to you weather it is true or not! HAHAHAHA!" the president said to himself as he typed away at the computer.

Kyoya cleared his throat, "I hope I am not interrupting anything?"

"Ah and what do I have here, another faithful reader?"

"Actually, I have a few concerns about your paper," Kyoya said taking a seat.

"Don't sit there," the president said quickly.

Kyoya moved over to different chair, "Or there," the president said again.

Kyoya got up and moved to another spot, "Don't you even think of sitting there!"

"Why don't I just stand?" Kyoya said push back the urge to strangle the guy. "Back to the matter at hand, I had some concerns about your so called daily paper," Kyoya flashed a smile.

The president put up a hand, "No one has ever had a concern about my paper and no one will. Now if you excuse me it's time for me to choose an outfit for the spring gala," he said as five people stood in front of him each holding an outfit.

"No, No, hideous, awful…and that's just the people holding the clothes! HAHAHAHAH!" the president laughed, "I'll take that one! Oh how I loathe when people wear the same outfit."

"On that point I would just like to say that you should watch what you write," Kyoya said, thoroughly annoyed, "Some comments can be hurtful to certain people…"

"Which people?"

"No one in particular,"

"Well my policy is if they can't take it they shouldn't go outside,"

"He's not going outside," Kyoya said trying to control his frustration.

"So what's he doing now?"

"He's wearing a bald cap!"

"I did that?" the president said proudly, "Can I get a what, what!"

"What, No!" Kyoya said glaring, "Now listen here, if you keep publish rubbish you're going to regret it," Kyoya said slamming the door on his way out.

"You symbolically shaved all your photos!?" Kyoya said walking into the music room.

"I helped!" Hikaru said holding up a bald picture of Tamaki with and eye patch and beard drawn on it.

Kyoya rolled his eyes, "Anyway I have some good news, I had a talk with the newspaper president,"

"You did?"

"I did,"

"For me?"

"For you," Kyoya said, "Now are you ready to show the world your golden locks once more?"

"Yes I am!" Tamaki said ripping off the cap, "What did you say to him anyway?"

"I said-"

"Tamaki's bald!" Hikaru screamed as he read through the freshly printed newspaper.

"You told them I was bald?!"

"No, I told them you were wearing a bald cap!"

"Will this never end?" Tamaki said dramatically as he flopped onto the fancy couch.

Kyoya began to smirk, "O yes it is, because I've just got an idea!" he said glasses flashing.

"I don't like that look," Hikaru said.

"Kyoya…what are you planning?"

"Why don't we put on a little show?"

"A show? The ladies would love that!"

"And so will the rest of the school once they find out what the newspaper club is all about!"

"I like that idea!" Hikaru and Kaoru said.

"When did Kaoru…?"

"O mon ami that was so much fun!" Tamaki said as he changed back into his uniform after the 'show' had finished.

"I thought it was quite a success, the turnout was wonderful," Kyoya said counting the profits the host club just made.

"Ooo look a gift basket!" Tamaki said picking up the card that came with it, "The newspaper club?"

"To my funny friends at the host club," Kyoya read off the card.

"It's filled with meat…and look there's writing on it!" Tamaki said picking up some steaks, "Meat, dead, you're…you're dead meat! They're threatening us!"

"They wrote on the sausages too, if any of you show your faces at the spring gala I will tear you all to shreds," Kyoya read off, "Oh come on we're not really afraid of them right Tamaki?"

"I'm afraid!"

"Boys, we can't go to the gala, we got threatening meat," Tamaki said as the host gathered around for the emergency meeting.

"What did you do this time Tama-chan?" Huni asked sweetly.

"Not me, it was Kyoya's great idea,"

"None of this would've happened if you didn't care so much about what they said about you. The only person who cares more about how they look is that aggravating newspaper president," Kyoya said as he started to smile his glasses flashing once more, "We're going!"

"Where?"

"To the gala!"

"What are you planning this time?"

"Just wait and watch…this should be interesting!" Kyoya said walking out of the club room to make a phone call.

The newspaper president was waving at the flashing cameras when he spotted the host club all dressed in long trench coats, "Oh look who decided to show up to the gala. Didn't you read your meat?"

Tamaki sighed, "We just wanted to come here and say, you win,"

"Those are my two favourite words," The president said smiling.

"Before we go can we just take a picture with you?"

"Why not? It will be something to remember,"

"That's what we were hoping for," Kyoya said smiling.

The hosts stood around the newspaper president, "Ready boys? One, two, three!" Tamaki said as the hosts pulled off their trench coats.

"What do you think you're doing you can't wear me!" the president said.

"Actually, I think we're wearing you better than you!" Kyoya said posing for the flashing cameras.

"I will destroy you!"

"Not anymore because if we don't care what you write about us you can't hurt us. Now smile and say: you win!" Tamaki said.

"No, no NO!" the president screamed as he walked backwards and fell into a beautiful free flowing fountain.

"Well, I guess we all know who wore it wetter!" The twins laughed.

And that is how the newspaper club was met with their downfall and the Host club became number one.

"I told you they wouldn't last any longer, didn't I?" Kyoya said smiling.

_A/N: Don't forget to review! I love to hear feedback form all my lovely readers!_


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